Female Partners' Motivation to Become Swingers

Man and woman are intrinsically different about sex. Man has the instinct to seek for new sex partners; that is in the blood as it holds true for all animals. Personally, I do not believe monogamy is a natural way of life, at least not for male. Some people may argue that human are different from animals and even some type of animals do have similar partnership like monogamy. It is debatable, but I do not think such rules or laws should apply to all people; everyone should have the freedom to make his/her own choices.

Sex, as easy as it sounds, can be very complicated when love is involved. After chatting and meeting many of the swinger couples in Taiwan, I was shocked to realize that not every woman participated in this kind of life style actually enjoyed the sex itself, or maybe "not everyone" is an understatement. I would say over 70% of the ladies I have encountered do not have the motivation to actively seek for new sex partners; then why did they still come out? In short, it's because of love; they love their husbands (or boyfriends) so much that they are willing to do things, such as having sex with strangers, for their partners. It may sound a little bit cruel, but at least it is not rape; they are doing something that they do not love or hate: lay there and be fucked. What those ladies get in return are their partner's happy faces. That is the magic of love.

It is funny that many of those ladies are willing to sacrifice themselves so their husband can have sex with other girls, but not many of the guys can do the same thing for them. Sadly, many of the husbands did not realize the reason behind the whole thing; they simply thought their wives are as horny as they do. However, that is their problem, not mine. The female partner has the freedom to leave, yet she chooses to stay and sacrifice. I have no position to judge or intervene their way of life. Some couples would join the husband and try to comfort or lure the wife in order to achieve a win-win situation (from the male perspective). For us, we would rather leave them alone until both of them are sure they are ready.

However, you cannot always be sure if the other couple is ready or not. Sometimes the wife would hesitate at the last moment. The problem, then, is: how do you approach a female when she is clearly not in the mood for sex. It is funny that, often, the only person who cannot tell the lady is not in the mood is her husband as he might be busy with someone's partner. Foreplay or mini-games might be a good solution, but that is only true for people who enjoy swinging/sex; for people who do not like it in the first place, it really has nothing to do with "the mood" as they just want to get over with it as fast as possible.

Of course, I always make sure that my girlfriend is doing fine without me before I even start switching my sight to another girl. Now, what do I do when a girl who clearly is not interested (even a little bit frightened) lying naked in front of me? The most straight forward answer is: don't touch her; just chat with her until her husband is finished. However, that's often not the case. The husband sometimes would question me why I stopped; even his wife would urge me to have sex with her since she does not what her husband to know that she does not enjoy it. It often ends up with two people (the wife and I) having a sex act. I really do not like the feeling.

Because swinging activities involve closer interaction, we are often forced to witness the communication gap that you normally wouldn't notice between the husband and wife. That is the drama we really do not want to watch, and that is one of the reasons why we sometimes are reluctant to meet new couples. We want to be as relaxed as we can when dating a couple, but not in an alarmed mode looking for traces that can lead to potential disasters.